so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
