The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
More tranny stories later!
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
