Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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