I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
