Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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