Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Are we still banned from the library?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
