he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
