is your mom at the bar?
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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