so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
