I need help removing her.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
