There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
