after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize
