): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
