is your mom at the bar?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
