you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
