Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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