stop calling my apartment porn island.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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