I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
