I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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