there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
