Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
