she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I smell stomach acid.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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