who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
