I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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