i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
