Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
