Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
