wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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