this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
