I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
