do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
