Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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