At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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