Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
