Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
