My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
