Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
