My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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