Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
