i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
