what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
