I'm eating all of the evidence.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
