and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
