The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
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