We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Are my feet made of real feet?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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