Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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