He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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