i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
