dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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