I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i need an iv and a liver transplant
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
