Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
