who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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