not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I wish i was in the wii world.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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